Reflections on Hotelier/Foxing and Other Things

It has been a fun time to be an emo reader on the internet. Though there have not been as many 2013 emo retrospectives as I thought there would be heading into the year, the Hotelier/Foxing tour has led to a lot of personalized writing in people’s various newsletters about it. I wasn’t originally planning to, but I thought I would write something on it. But I must warn you, I’m not coming to you as someone who lived and died by either band. I was 20 when both of the respective bands’ records came out, so I have some attachment to youth or whatever.

When I think back to 2013 for me, it was a time of rediscovery. My favorite podcast, Hollywood Prospectus, did an emo episode, and with it, I dove back into the genre. But even then, I felt like I was too late. All of the bands that would soon be my favorites were gone. In some ways, I was replaying the experience of what others before me had felt. Sam McPheeters talks about this in his book Mutations: The Many Strange Faces of Hardcore Punk, about getting into hardcore just as its first wave was ending. All that changed was the context. In Chicago, all of the bands central to the initial revival were moving on to the next step, and others like Cloud Mouth and Coping had broken up. I could only hear about the Snowing show at Strangelight through future friends years later. It gave me a ghost nostalgia that I still end up chasing. What you just missed is elusive and more alluring than the current moment sometimes.

When Foxing’s The Albatross came out, I listened to it from the comfort of my Rogers Park apartment. Going to shows was pretty far from my mind. I was soaking up all the records that came out that year on r/emo. I’m still embarrassed to admit how central that subreddit was for my taste and consumption in college. There was one playlist that traced Emo from 1985 to 2014 that I still think about today. I wasn’t reading music criticism much at that time, even if it was only a click away from my favorite blog, Grantland. All that mattered then was the music and my response to it. It was an insulated experience.

At the time, the album art for The Hotelier almost lingered more in my consciousness than anything else. I could not avoid it, though I could not deny the obvious hits. I would sometimes queue up the infamous FEST set that everyone knows for some cheap dopamine. I had a deeper relationship with Foxing at the time. But even my relationship with them was pretty shallow. I remember being really into the hits at the time. I remember making my friend hurry his ass up so I could see them at Riot Fest. I was just at that age where I needed to see as much music as possible. I was honestly more excited to see Mineral that year, who was my favorite band at the time. That day was probably the peak of my Foxing fandom. Dealer came out, and I quickly decided I was done with them. Foxing was going on a journey that I was not going to follow, even though I can admit now that they are an infinitely better band.

But even with my minimal love for either band, I still felt the urge to attend the anniversary show at Thalia Hall in Chicago. It seemed like every day I was online, people were excitedly posting about it, and I didn’t want to miss out. The intervening years have given me a greater appreciation for The Hotelier in particular. And I hadn’t seen Foxing since my initial experience almost a decade ago. Emperor X was the opener and ultimately inspired very little out of me. It had very little to do with what I was watching. My attention span is awful these days; If you don’t grab me within the first song or two, I quickly disengage and begin to daydream.

Based on the chatter I had seen online, I knew a little of what to expect going into Hotelier’s set. I had to wade through the beginning of mostly stuff I only kind of knew. I have become a Goodness guy but can’t claim to know the material that well besides “Goodness Pt. 2.” But once the album started, I was locked in. I got to leave my chattering brain for a little bit and enjoy myself. It wasn’t the all-out catharsis I had been building in my head, but it was great nonetheless. It may have to be with the fact that I am not a young adult anymore. I rarely reach those heights of mental anguish. Even my most recent bout of seasonal depression this week was relatively tame. I just listened to some metalcore for a few days and was doing alright a few days later.

I’m a little ashamed to admit I did think about leaving before Foxing played. Awakebutstillinbead were playing that same night, and if I left, I could have caught them. But I decided not to do that and give myself a break. It was still nice to see Foxing after all these years. I did feel a little tension, and Foxing hinted at it. After playing the album, they said something to the effect of. “we still made music after The Albatross, even if some of you like to pretend it doesn’t exist.” It may just be a fact that Foxing is a full-time band. Unlike others, I did not leave and even enjoyed the newer material to a certain extent.

I don’t really know any takeaways from the night for me. The other shows I went to last week felt way more invigorating and anchored me in the present moment. I’m not impervious to nostalgia. I had the time of my life last year at an Algernon Cadwallader show. If CSTVT or Grown Ups ever plays, I will be there. It has more to do with my taste. The revival that I love was never meant to leave the basements. I still have remnants of a naive punk kid even now. But I cannot deny the power of “An Introduction To The Album” or “Intuit.”